How Much?
by Lehxra
Summary: It has to be illegal to look that beautiful and be male. She was sure of one thing: he had to be for sale. KujaOC. Future love triangle. Rated T-M.
1. Chapter 1

_**Oh gee....this is my first FF9 based story. Sorry if I get some things wrong, for I haven't played in a while and I lack discs 1 and 2 *cries in a corner* I learned everything from the wikia so....ya!**_

_**(Disclaimer:) I...oh you know I wish I owned Kuja...heh heh heh.  
**_

* * *

The first thought that came to Kuja's mind was 'Who is the female human?'

Garland had summoned him because he had something important to tell him. He had wondered what he was needed for. Could it have been that he hadn't caused enough destruction to the last city he raided? Surely that could not be it. But now that he was standing in front of Garlands throne, a woman to his left, he didn't know _why_ he was needed. He looked from Garland to the mysterious blond woman. She seemed to be around his height (not that he was all that tall anyway,) petite (maybe a little bigger than him, for his figure was superb,) and tanned, compared to his ghostly skin. All in all she might have been beautiful if, of course, he hadn't compared her to himself (because, _of course_, he could be a god among men.)

Garland watched as his less perfect creation (because now he wasn't perfect anymore. His newest one, Zidane, was) sized up the blond beauty standing next to his throne. He smirked a little, for he could tell that Kuja seemed to accept her presence. He watched the emerald green eyed woman look at the ground intently, no doubt feeling Kuja's eyes on her. She was uncomfortable, no doubt. Who wouldn't be, when a very beautiful man was staring at you, questioning your presence with his eyes?

Garland cleared his throat, getting the attention of the two adults. "I can tell you are questioning why you are here, Kuja. I shall get to the point," he stood up and walked over to the woman, placing his decrepit hands on her shoulders. She flinched a little, "This here is Eri," Garland said, Eri nodded briefly.

"Human, am I not correct?" Kuja said, his voice as satin (but that was to be expected.)

"You are correct. She is, however, quite skilled and very useful. She's going to be an ally on your journey."

- - -

The first thought that came to Eri's mind was 'Is he for sale?' She averted her eyes so that she didn't come off as rude for staring.

She had been scouted by the old man Garland there on Terra ( no she wasn't from there, but on a sort of journey) and brought to Pandemonium. She didn't quite have a choice in the matter, but she thought maybe she could get something out of this new journey with the man that Garland had said was one of his many creations. A Genome. As he came into Garland's throne room, she was surprised how good looking this creature was. Amazingly good looking. Even beyond that!

Garland and the beautiful creature, Kuja, exchanged some words (about her no doubt) which ended in a slight laugh and protest.

"What? With her? You can't be serious," his satin voice sounding so superior.

Garland raised a hand. "She could be of quite use to you I have personally hand picked her. She's skilled in magic, long range, hand-to-hand combat and she has quite exceptional swordsmanship."

Eri watched as his gorgeous blue eyes looked at her skeptically. She knew that he was thinking that she wasn't needed.

"So...what, exactly..."

"She'll just be there to help you cause more destruction," Garland said simply and grinned.

_I knew it_, Kuja thought,_I haven't been causing an adequate amount of damage._ He sighed and slowly circled her, sizing her up, no doubt trying to assess if she was weak or not. He stopped in front of her and looked her in the eye. He could see doubt, determination, admiration, and what was that last one? He couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Your name was..."

"Eri," she said and put her hand out. He, of course, just looked at it like it was some foreign parasite.

"A pleasure," he said finally," As you know I am Kuja, and from today onward we shall be...partners," he said the last part in a grumble. He didn't need a woman to help him in anything. Maybe she could clean his Desert Palace, or cook him meals.

"I'm looking forward to it," she said and bowed, her emerald eyes glistening, "I hope you take good care of me," she said, her smile sly. She hoped he took good care of her indeed.

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_**Review! Kuja's smexyable ass would appreciate it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**(D:) Don't even ask me if I own it. I'll get mad!**

* * *

Was that a...thong? Eri eyed Kuja's crotch area and tried to conceal a giggle. What was he _wearing?_ Was he some sort of stripper? She hoped he was. With a body like that..._damn_...She strained herself from asking how much he costs.

They were headed to Kuja's palace in the desert. He had decided that they should stay there for the night, then make their move the next day.

They finally made it out of Garland's lair (goodness it was stuffy in there) and into a setting sun. Kuja stopped Eri and used a quick transportation spell to send them in front of his palace.

Eri whistled. "Nice place ya got here."

Kuja looked her way and smirked. "Of course," he said and moved on. Eri followed him. Kuja opened the door, and as soon as he did, his servants were there, all standing in two great lines. "Welcome back, Master Kuja," they all said in unison. Kuja only gave a quick nod and sauntered (yes, sauntered) into his grand house.

Eri raised an eyebrow and followed him in, noticing all servant's eyes were on her. Finally passing them (how long did that take anyway?) she entered a kitchen.

Kuja leaned on a counter. "How good of a cook are you?"

Eri frowned. "Are you serious?" He didn't believe in her ability to help him, did he?

"Maybe. It all depends on how serious _you_ are," he smirked.

_Damn,_ she thought as her face heated up,_ he needs to stop doing that_. "I'm so serious," she glared ( or maybe it was just a narrowing of the eyes. It's hard to actually _glare_ at that creature.)

He moved over to her slowly, and leaned close to her. "Then prove it," and walked past her.

She looked after him. Was she supposed to follow him? She shrugged and walked after him. Hopefully her blush was gone by now. They ended up right back outside in the hot but breezy desert.

"Come at me, if you dare," he said confidently.

Oh she dared. She drew both of her swords from behind her back. He must not have even noticed their presence, because Kuja looked almost shocked and confused for a second, before casting Float on himself and a mid-level Gravity at her. Bad idea. Gravity was kind of slow, and it gave her time to cast Reflect, so it bounced right off of her and back at him. He dodged but... did something _sharp_ just cut his cheek? He touched it. _Blood?_ He looked at her and just in time because something else sharp was coming straight at him. He went though time and space to get behind her. She didn't have time to react as he Debarriered her and sent Fire her way. It hit and she screamed and fell on one knee, before casting Regen on herself and coming straight at him, fists ready. Kuja narrowed his eyes, for he wasn't good at hand-to-hand, and dodged, but she must have guessed again what direction he'd go in, for he received a strong roundhouse kick to the gut. He flew back a little, dazed, and had just enough time to get out of the path of the Flare that was headed towards him.

_She can use such high level magic?!_ He growled and floated at lightning speed toward her. She must have, once again, known that he'd use magic, because she put up another Reflect just as he casted Blizagga, for it flew right back at him.

He froze (literally.) And sighed. And used Firaga on himself, melting the ice and coming at her again.

Eri dodged but wasn't sure what to expect. He seemed quite mad, and as she used a Scan on him, she noticed he still had quite a lot of MP left. _Damn. I hope he doesn't use a summon..._ Eri watched him. Kuja watched her. Before he could start an incantation, she rushed at him, both swords ready and kept swinging. He tried his best to dodge each blow, but one aimed directly at his side hit, and her sword was embedded in his skin. They both stopped. Kuja looked down as blood started to pool.

"Uh..." Eri said. She knew it would be bad to just pull it out. As she looked over his head, noticing the Scan still in effect, she swore. "Shit!" His HP was decreasing at a fast pace.

He looked up from the wound (no doubt disappointed that his favorite outfit was being ruined by blood. How was he supposed to get _that_ out?) to Eri. His eyesight was getting kind of blurry.

"Oh...damn...hold on!" she said and casted Curaga on him (her MP was all gone now) as soon as she pulled the sword out. He groaned, but all in all he was fine.

He sighed and stared at her.

"I'm soo sorry!" she said, "I didn't..I-"

He shook his head. "You're stronger than I assumed. You pass this test. But..."

"But...?"

He motioned at his clothing. "Clean this up..."

She looked at his blood stained robe that hung at his hips. "Of course, Master Kuja," she bowed.

* * *

_**(A/N:) I'm sorry if that battle wasn't believable. I wrote it before I knew that Kuja does NOT get hurt easily (getting Mega-Flared by Bahamut and hardly even bleeding is pretty impressive.)**_

_**On a different note, how do you like Eri as an O.C? I like her. She's badass, or something like that.  
**_


	3. Chapter 3

**I borrowed a little phrase from a Confessions of Georgia Nicolson book. Fans, see if you can spot it!  
**

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Eri was woken up at 6 in the morning by a short, elf looking servant. "Master Kuja requests that you attend breakfast, Mistress Eri."

_Mistress? That sounded kinda...sexy..._ she thought, but then groaned when she saw what time it was. "At 6 a.m.?"

The elf servant bowed, "Yes ma'am," she said.

Eri sighed and got up. "Fine, fine. Lead the way."

They were only half way there when Eri noticed she was in her night clothes (some really short shorts and a shirt that barely covered her midriff.) She shrugged. Who really cared. She was getting the feeling that he didn't even like women. Maybe himself.

She was led inside the grand dining area. The long, long table had about a hundred seats, only one was occupied. About a hundred servants stood around it. Kuja motioned for her to come sit beside him...at least it looked like it. He was so far away that she could hardly tell. It took her about a minute to go and sit in the seat to the left. He, of course, was sitting at the head of the table.

"I am glad you decided to join me," Kuja said. He looked her over, "though I'm sure you could have found...more _appropriate_ attire." She shrugged. "Well, what is it that you desire to eat?"

"I wanna know why you eat breakfast at 6 in the morning."

"We shall take our leave soon."

"In the morning?"

He smirked and slightly tilted his head. "The earlier the better."

Eri groaned. "Eggs, bacon, toast, milk, o.j."

Kuja lifted a delicate eyebrow. "Such low class taste. Have you ever tried caviar before?"

"The fish egg stuff? Ew gross."

"Suit yourself," He waved his hand. A servant came over, bowed, and left the dining area with a few other servants.

Eri whistled. "You've got them whipped."

Kuja let out a small, melodic laugh. "Of course. I am their master, after all."

"I see. You should carry a whip then."

Kuja would have spluttered if he didn't compose himself in time. He covered his mouth with a sleeved hand. "A whip, you say? No, that sounds..."

"Kinda kinky?" she offered.

Kuja flushed. "P- precisely."

"Aaa~" she teased. "I shall invest in one for you anyways, _Master_." Kuja turned his head. Eri smirked. She was getting to him. So...maybe he wasn't a homosexualist-type person after all.

_When was this food getting here?_ Kuja wondered. He'd only known this _Eri_ woman for one day, and already he was uncomfortable. She was younger than him too. It was kind of intriguing though. No one had ever talked to him in the manner that she did. But then again, when you're the Angel of Death, who has _time_ to talk? The only real conversations he had was with Garland, the Elephant lady and maybe Zorn and Thorn (though...conversing with those two can drive one quite mad.) Never with a girl his age. Even Beatrix was some years older than him. They didn't speak much though. Only when needed. She was too...egotistic for his tastes (lol!)

He must have been in thought for a while because as soon as he was back in his senses, his servants came out with silver platters and set them in front of them.

"That looks like..." Eri trailed off, looking at his meal, which consisted only of Caviar.

Kuja narrowed his eyes. A servant poured him some wine. He took it in his slender hands and sipped.

"And wine in the morning?"

"All I drink is the finest wine."

"I see... Master Kuja is so high class."

"That I am."

Eri grinned and began eating. "Holy..." she trailed off. This is really good! Who's your chef?"

Kuja laughed. "You think I actually take the time to learn names? Impossible. They are nothing but tools to me."

_Hmm...Well that's not very nice_, Eri thought and stood up.

"And where is it that you are going?"

"Kitchen," she said simply and walked away. She entered the kitchen. The three chefs that were there stopped talking and recoiled from her.

"Uh... Mistress Eri... do you require something?"

"I'd like to know who made my food."

"I- it was me, Mistress Eri," the same chef said.

Eri smiled. "Oh, really? Well, I just wanted to thank you is all."

All three of them looked at her in disbelief.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?"

"Well," another one spoke up, "Master Kuja always yells, never praises. So we thought Mistress Eri was the same but..."

"But you seem nice," another one finished.

"Oh, well, thank you," she smiled again. "I must take my leave, for my food is getting cold. I bid you well," she said and walked out. _Wow_, she thought, _mimicking Kuja's speech sounds so_ gay. She laughed to herself as she sat back down and continued eating. Kuja was done with his caviar and drinking another cup of wine. She watched him as he stared straight ahead. "About...how many cups of wine will you be having today?" she asked.

"Who knows," he said and smirked. "Would you like a glass?"

Eri looked at his slightly flushed face and shook her head. If she was drunk, who knew what she would do to him. She would do...things... "No, I am quite fine," she said and smiled. _I need to get the visuals out of my head!_

He suddenly stood up, put the wine down and started walking. "Come. We must prepare to leave."

Eri groaned. "Can't we go, like, at night?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

She growled and followed him. "Can you take me to my room?"

"That's where I am headed."

"Oh." They walked the next few minutes in silence. His palace was horribly huge.

"Straight down there. I'll wait here. Make haste."

_Make...haste...?_ She walked into the room and 'made haste' as she changed back into her tall black boots, black shorts, a flowing white dress with a giant split right in the front with big sleeves, and a shirt connected to her neck by a black choker. All in all her attire was...unique. Though Kuja's was even more so.

She walked out and followed Kuja out the door.

He whistled, and suddenly a grand silver dragon flew above them, and landed in front of them gracefully. Kuja motioned for Eri to follow him as he climbed upon the great beast.

"Um.." she said as he helped her up, "is it ok for you to be driving while impaired?"

He only laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

**_So I ordered the game and got it. Made more sense to buy the whole thing instead of 2 discs which are like, 20 bux each._**

**_Lol. Wanna know something funny? I'm on disc 1 in the Ice Cavern and I got killed by Black Waltz no. 1's pet sealion whatever thingy. It was like, the 2nd boss battle of the game. And I died. lol. I was in trance mode and my hp was low. Next time I'll remember to take care of that.  
_**

* * *

"What is our destination?" she asked as they whooshed around in the air, her hair blowing all around her.

"Our destination is Alexandria for now. I have a conference with the Elephant Lady."

Eri tilted her head. "Enlighten me. Who is the _Elephant Lady?_"

"The Canary's mother."

Eri stared blankly at him.

"The queen of Alexandria," he said finally.

"Oohh! That's so cool that you are acquainted with royalty."

Kuja started to laugh. "Oh, no it's nothing of the sort. It is not 'cool' at all that I am indeed acquainted with the Elephant Lady. Hell, that's why I call her that."

"Because she's an elephant?"

"Because she's as ugly as one," he laughed again. "I quite despise her, really. But I am an...arms dealer of sorts to her."

"That sounds even cooler!" Eri smiled, her eyes gleaming in admiration.

"I...suppose..." he said and looked around them. The Mist was below them, effect of the Iifa tree, but he could just make out the Grand Kingdom of Alexandria. His silver dragon decreased its altitude and landed at the front gate. When the two got off, it went back into the sky.

The Alexandrian Soldiers lowered the bridge for them. As they went across, the Soldiers nodded their heads. Kuja ignored them. He felt that the Alexandrian Soldiers (who were _all_ female) were useless. Though the Knights of Pluto were kinda useless as well.

Eri followed him because he seemed to know the way. She looked about. She quite liked this castle. It was nicer than Kuja's palace. Some parts of his palace were kinda dark and scary. It didn't seem to suit him though. What would suit him was a happy castle with pretty purple wallpaper and sparkles. She suppressed a laugh with her sleeve and continued on. Kuja was such an amusing person to fantasize weird things about.

They walked up a flight of stairs and entered a room. It was big and dark. The only light came from the large windows in the back. There was a long mahogany table. At it sat a large woman (Eri presumed it was the 'Elephant Lady',) a pretty woman with one eye covered, and twin jesters.

"It is Kuja!" one exclaimed.

"Kuja it is!" came the other one.

Kuja looked their way and nodded grimly. "Zorn. Thorn." He looked at the two women. "Queen. General." He put a hand on Eri's shoulder, "This is my assistant," he said before they could ask who the young woman was. He then sat down, motioning Eri to sit down next to him.

The Queen/Elephant Lady looked at Eri long and hard. Then she cleared her throat. "I am Queen Brahne. You shall address me as such. Now," she looked at Kuja, "the matter at hand."

Kuja nodded. "I am here today to get your order; I understand that the other mages I've sent you have been defeated by...my brother, therefore I am here to replace them."

Queen Brahne narrowed her eyes. "That stupid little monkey boy Zidane. He's really getting in my way."

"Indeed."

"Double my order! I'm sending all of them after him."

General Beatrix suddenly turned her head. "What of the Princess?"

"Oh right...Beatrix! Kuja! Bring me my daughter."

"And her Eidolons? What of them?" Zorn asked.

"What of her Eidolons?" Thorn asked.

"Uh...oh," Queen Brahne thought for a while. "Extract them first then bring her to me. All of you! You may be dismissed."

They all stood up- Beatrix, Zorn and Thorn bowing in the process.

Kuja swiftly walked out of the room. Eri hurried after him.

"I hate these meetings," he said as they walked down the stairs. "There's all so much I have to do."

"I see...there seemed to be some sort of tension when the Queen didn't mention saving her daughter at first. The General seemed like she was gonna pounce."

"She is quite loyal to the Princess, so it's to be expected. I doubt she's for the idea of Eidolon extraction either."

"I don't blame her, but oh well. So who is this princess? Does she look like her mother?"

"She's adopted."

"Oh good. I'd hate to be the offspring of...that thing."

Kuja laughed. "I agree."

"I'd feel sorry for them. She'd be like, green or something. And a minotaur."

Kuja laughed again and nodded. "Indeed."

When they exited the castle, the silver dragon landed in front of them.

"There are some things you must know about this mission," Kuja said as he and Eri mounted the dragon. "First off, we must go to the Iifa tree. That's where I get black mages. Next is to locate the Princess' captor."

"She was captured?"

"Yes. Well, something like that. She went willingly."

"Was it by this 'brother' person you spoke of?"

Kuja grimaced. "Yes."

"Then he is a Genome."

Kuja nodded. "He's blond and rude and a thief. He shows his tail all the time, which is something I do not understand. Who would willingly do that?"

Eri shrugged. "You must have a pretty, silky soft tail, don't you? Can I touch it?"

"No."

"Aww. Can I see it?"

"No."

"Why??"

"No one sees it. Ever," he said and glared.

"But it's pretty, ain't it?" she smiled.

"You're not seeing it, so stop trying."

Eri smirked. If she could get those clothes off that body...she laughed quietly. Soon, she thought and looked him up and down from the corner of her eye, soon.

* * *

_**Clothes off bodies...hahaha**_


	5. Chapter 5

The trip to the Iifa tree was long and uneventful. Boring, as Eri would have called it. She stayed on the dragon as Kuja stood by the base of the tree and extracted mages, or whatever he did. Eri was excited to see the results of his 'so called arms dealer' magic. She watched as a dozen appeared, then another, then another. Kuja said something and pointed, and the 36 mages moved out in a single file line. Kuja floated up to the dragon and mounted again.

"The first job has been completed. On to the next one."

"Can we stop and like, check into a hotel or something? This dragon riding is messing up my back."

"A hotel?" he asked. She nodded. He laughed. "A hotel? A commoners place of temporary residence? You want _me_ to in one of those for a night?

Eri nodded and smiled.

Kuja stared at her, eyes narrowed, and rather heavy. "Fine," he said. Maybe he was suffering from exhaustion. Just a _little_ bit.

They flew off to the nearest village. Kuja surveyed it as they walked through. "After we stay here, we destroy this place."

Eri blinked a few times, dumbfounded. "Why?"

"Because that's what I do. That's why Garland sent you to me. We destroy. That's it."

"Ohh...right... I completely forgot about that part."

Kuja glared at her and strutted away.

_That's ok,_ she thought,_ I like watching you go,_ as she stared at his rear end moving from side to side. She followed him after she was satisfied and walked slightly behind him. "Have you been here before?"

"I highly doubt it," he said. "No."

"And we have to destroy it?"

He stopped and looked her in the eye. "Yes. We do! If you're not up to destroying things then go back to Garland and get reassigned. To my peace loving brother even, if you cannot handle this. I really don't need you," he walked away again leaving Eri wide eyed and stunned by herself.

"Didn't have to go that far..." she said to herself. "Um, wait," she ran after him," I didn't mean it like that. I'll destroy whatever you want-"

He cut her off by pointing to a small house. "Destroy that." He looked her in the eyes and saw uncertainty.

"Yeah. Sure. Of course," she said as if playing it off as an easy thing. "Blizzaga." The small house froze. She turned to her companion. "Yeah?"

"No..." he said, an annoyed look on his face. "It's frozen, not destroyed. Destroy it."

"Right." She might have felt bad for the people inside. If there were people inside. Were there people inside? "Firaga." The ice melted and the house crumbled to the ground. She turned to him and smiled. "All done," she said, an innocent look on her face and hands behind her back.

He once again looked at her and walked away. Eri followed him. "There's the hotel!" she said, pointing to the mid-sized building off to the right of the street.

"That was my ear..." Kuja said, holding his right ear. "Lower your decibels."

"Yes, Master," she whispered in his ear. He jumped away slightly, eyes widened and rose coloring his cheeks. Eri smiled.

* * *

**If Kuja said that to me, I'd probably cry on the spot. :'(**


	6. Chapter 6

They walked into the building. It was wooden, had a musty smell, and an even mustier looking woman at the front desk.

"Rooms 300 gil each. One bed," she said, looking over the two young beautiful people and snarling.

"We'll take one!" Eri said excitedly. Kuja gave her a look. She only smiled and whispered, "It could work." She winked. He looked away.

"Upstairs. Room 206," the woman said, her voice rough and filled with uninterest.

Eri turned and looked at Kuja expectantly.

"What?"

She gestured to the woman.

He sighed and took out the 300 gil and handed it to the woman, and in return she handed him their key, which Eri took from his hands.

She smiled. "Let's go!" She skipped up the old wooden stairs, while Kuja walked slowly, gracefully. He saw Eri poised in front of their now open door, a strange look on her face. He caught up with her and peered inside. It was a small room, with a small bed along the right wall. The walls were lined with yellow flowery wallpaper that peeled. Kuja's face fell.

"You just had to have a hotel, didn't you?" he asked the woman next to him.

She chuckled nervously. "Yeah?"

He walked in the room. "You're sleeping on the floor." He went over to inspect the bed.

"Oh that's not fair!" She bent down and swiped a finger on the ground. "Look at this," she said, showing her dirtied finger.

He looked at it and shrugged. He placed a hand on the bedding and immediately retracted it. "Here," he said and threw it all on the floor. "You can use these. They aren't suitable enough for me."

Eri shrugged and started setting up her bed on the floor.

"I will return," Kuja said and walked out the room and down the stairs. He saw the woman by the desk and smirked. Who wastes gil on a hotel room when they're going to destroy the whole town? He casted a simple Thunder spell and stopped the woman's heart. She fell on top of the desk. Kuja moved her slightly to get to the gil register. He opened it up, took the gil and left, in search of a bedding store.

As he walked down the street, he secretly sent Fireballs and Demi at people. He smiled to himself and kept looking. He soon found a cloth store and went in, assuming they'd sell blankets and the like. He found what he needed, including a new pillow and pillow case, and killed the people behind the desk before leaving.

* * *

Eri sat on the wrinkled sheets and sighed. She wondered if they'd serve breakfast her. She wondered if this village had good food. She wondered where the heck she was! She didn't know the name of the village, only that it was somewhere near Alexandria.

She got up and went over to the window, looking at the lack of a good view (all she saw was another building and an alleyway.)

The door opened and Eri turned to look behind her. The silver haired Genome walked in, hands full of white. He closed the door with his boot, and walked over to his bed, making it. Eri watched as he finished. It was very neat. It almost sparkled even. "Why'd you make it so perfect if you still have to sleep in it?" she asked.

Kuja turned to her. She stood at the window, and he could see that the sun was going down slowly. He looked back at his bed and peeled a corner carefully. He looked back at her.

She gave a goofy grin. "Ok then." She walked to her floor-bed at the foot of Kuja's bed and sat down. "Do we go to sleep now?"

He nodded and got into his bed. She laid down on her makeshift one. They soon fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Eri did not wake up in the most desirable way. There was a pain in her side, like being hit repeatedly, and when she opened her eyes she noticed that Kuja's boot seemed to take a liking to her side. She groaned. "Why are you kicking me?"

"To wake you," he said simply.

She rubbed her eyes. "What is it? Like, 5 in the morning?"

"7, actually. I let you sleep longer."

"Oh, how thoughtful of you," she groaned and stood up on her feet shakily.

"It is necessary, for this act to continue, that we collect information before we destroy this village."

"Uh...yeah...ok," she said and stretched. "Give me 5 minutes," she walked into the bathroom and took a shower.

Ten minutes later she came out.

"You're late," Kuja said, arms crossed and sitting on the edge of the bed.

She shrugged. "What do you expect? I'm a female," she turned to the door, "Let's move out!"

/

It didn't occur to her until she was almost out the front door that the woman at the front desk was most likely dead. She was slumped at a very awkward angle, it seemed, on the front desk. Eri turned back around and walked out the door. She was sure that she didn't want to know.

She walked alongside Kuja as he asked some roaming townspeople is they saw a boy with a monkey tail, or a young, beautiful woman who could have been a princess.

"Oh, yeah. I remember them," a teenage boy said. "The girl was really hot. She was with some dude, another dude in armor, and some pointy hat kid," he laughed, "Some guys decided to kidnap the pointy hat kid. It was funny."

Kuja nodded slowly. He had enough information for now (even though it probably wasn't useful _now_.)

They walked out the village slowly. It probably looked cool from the other side, watching them go.

They kept walking, even as Kuja used a Firaga to set the whole village aflame.

Eri looked back in time to see the sign 'Welcome to Dali' crumble away.

* * *

Eri lounged on a white leather couch in Kuja's room as he sat on his bed. They were kind of stuck at this point. They didn't know where Zidane's party currently were.

"So... Do we just hangout until we get a hit or something?" Eri asked.

"I suppose..." Kuja said. "This act is rather... uneventful. At the moment."

"What's up with the whole 'act' thing? Is this a play?"

"Yes, it is."

Eri raised a blond eyebrow. "Really now." _Odd, odd man,_ she thought.

They sat in silence. Eri wanted to say something, but she figured 'are you bi' wouldn't be an appropriate question. It didn't matter to her if he was or not. As long as he liked women, she was happy.

She looked at Kuja. He seemed to be staring off into space- thinking. She looked at his clothes. It was the strangest thing she saw a man wear. But, she figured, male exotic dancers wore things similar, and then nothing at all. She didn't realize it, but her face was rather red.

She wondered if there were any Red Light districts in Alexandria. They should visit one and watch some male strippers. To see if he enjoyed that sort of thing, she reasoned. And if he did...

She had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom and wipe up her nose bleed.

/

When she returned, she noticed that a black mage was in the room. Kuja stood in front of it with a paper in his hand, reading. He turned to her and motioned her over.

"It seems like their party split in Lindblum, and the princess and her guard are headed to Treno," he told her.

"Finally. Sitting around is rather dull," she said. It wasn't the fact that it was dull, but rather if she kept sitting around thinking about Kuja and looking at Kuja then...

The black mage turned into a small glowing sphere that floated in the room. "Come," Kuja said and took Eri's arm, "they double as a transportation device." They entered the sphere and it floated off to Treno.

/

Eri had never been to Treno. So a city forever bathed in night was something new to her. The people there looked quiet noble and high class. She figured Kuja enjoyed places like these.

"We'll split up," Kuja said and went off to the left. He watched Eri go the opposite direction. Kuja rather liked Treno. He sort of fit in here. If he had to pick one city to not destroy, then Treno would be it. He enjoyed the endless night.

He figured he would go to the auction house and ask the auctioneer if the princess had gone by. He was acquainted with the auctioneer.

He walked up to the balcony and just waited. The auctioneer spotted him and nodded, and he nodded back and sat down. He listened and laughed to himself at the high prices people were willing to pay for simple items like elixirs and earrings. Who in Treno needed elixirs anyway?

He'd get excited when the door opened, only to be disappointed when the person who came through wasn't the Canary. So when she _did_ come through, he had to do a double take. He walked up to the railing of the balcony and just started. She really was a beautiful girl, he noted. He watched her longingly as she watched the auction take place, probably never seeing one before. The Princess was 16, and while his 24 was considerably older, what was age anyway? To him, at least; the Angel of Death? Age wasn't important to him at the moment.

He allowed his Canary to get a glimpse of him, before he moved from the balcony and behind a pillar. Her guard came soon after and took her away, but not before she looked upon the balcony again.

He decided to watch the auction until it ended. When it did end, he went to talk to the auctioneer about the Princess, then he set off to look for that blond girl. What was her name again?

* * *

Eri wondered why such a rich looking place had a ghetto. The children over there were poor looking, but they seemed to be happy. The inn keeper was a man, but he looked similar to the lady in Dali. Grimy. She didn't actually need a rest, so she left. It looked pretty shady done there.

She went back to the entrance and waited for Kuja. Everyone was dressed better than her. She felt strange, almost like a hooker.

She walked over to the fountain and read the sign. She was supposed to throw 10 gil in it. She shrugged and complied. She felt better somehow.

She felt a light tap on her shoulder, so she turned around. Kuja was walking to the entrance, so she followed him.

"The Princess is returning to Alexandria of her own will," he said as they exited the city, "so we'll go to Burmecia, where the elephant-lady is. She plans on taking over."

"She plans to take over a kingdom? She must be very optimistic if she thinks she had the power to do that. I wouldn't listen to her, that's for sure."

"Well, she does have the power, actually. The Black Mages that I supply to her as well as the Eidolons that she's going to extract from the Princess."

"Oh, right. Well, damn. I'm glad I'm not from Burmecia."

"Or Cleyra."

"Cleyra too?"

"And Lindblum."

"What the hell?"

Kuja only nodded and smirked.

Eri slapped her forehead. "Well hot damn!"


	8. Chapter 8

**(D:) Oh, how fun. I don't own Final Fantasy 9. It belongs to...well...I actually don't know. Hahaha!**

**R&R  
**

* * *

They didn't really look like brothers, Eri thought as she and Kuja stood back, watching Zidane and his crew battle the General. They were losing badly. And you would think 4 against 1 was unfair.

She looked around Burmecia. It looked pretty bad. So why did the elephant queen want this place? She looked at the woman. She was fanning herself. And it was raining. So, why was she fanning herself? She looked away. That lady was an odd character.

"This rain is quite refreshing," Kuja said, turning to her, "I rather like it. I think it symbolizes our victory."

Eri looked at him, eyebrow raised. "How does rain equal victory? Doesn't it always rain here?"

He nodded, then shrugged. "It just seems that way to me. The scene of victory."

Eri rolled her eyes and continued watching the battle. It was over one move later- General Beatrix victorious (of course.)

She and the queen soon left after some taunting. Kuja and Eri walked closer. Eri got a better look at the monkey boys face. He was rather cute. If you were into the whole monkey tail thing. Kuja did some simple taunting then walked away as his silver dragon came. Eri stood there for a moment longer, locking eyes with the boy before leaving as well, mounting the silver dragon.

"Where to now?" Eri asked.

"Well, the General is going to Cleyra to get a jewel that they use to sustain their sandstorm, so we're going to Alexandria to go... visit...the Princess." He smiled a little. He was going to see his little Canary once more.

* * *

They waited in the castle for the Queen. Zorn and Thorn had captured the Princess and the guard, and put her in her room. Kuja and Eri were just waiting for the Queen to get ready. She walked so slow.

"So I finally get to meet this little Princess, huh?"

"I suppose," Kuja said, "though I doubt you'll actually speak to each other. But you'll see her. She is rather beautiful."

Eri raised an eyebrow. So...he had a thing for the princess, huh? She frowned. _I bet I look much better than this _princess.

The Queen, followed by her jester twins finally came out, so the two followed them to the Princess' room.

Eri first noticed that she was rather young, then that she was rather cute. She frowned again. Her competition was a child. She watched the two interact with each other. The girls cheeks were pink, though she was yelling at Kuja. Kuja only spoke to her in a soft voice. Then he went closer, and she backed up, so he moved even closer and grabbed the princess by the waist. Eri's eyes narrowed. Kuja told the young girl in his arms that he would take her to a world of dreams, then she suddenly fell asleep as he moved closer. Kuja smirked.

"Now, it is time," Kuja said and handed the sleeping teen to Zorn. Thorn walked over to a crystal and touched it. A hidden door opened and he followed Zorn into the room, and it closed.

The Queen fanned herself, laughed, and left. Seconds later she came back in. "Send black mages to Cleyra. As soon as the extraction is done, I'm destroying it."

Eri looked from Kuja to the Queen. She thought that the Queen wanted Cleyra, not to destroy it...

Kuja nodded and indicated to Eri to follow him.

"Where are we going?" asked Eri as they walked somewhere that she'd never been.

"To the elephant-lady's Red Rose. If there's at least one mage there, then they'll all know."

They climbed on board. There were pods on the lower deck, so Kuja touched one lightly. A glowing orb like they saw before floated in front of them. Then a generic black mage came out.

"Assist General Beatrix in Cleyra. All of you."

The mage turned back into an orb and floated away, followed by 3 more. Then even more floated off. Soon after, dozens upon dozens of glowing orbs floated off across the ocean.

As Eri watched, she thought the scene to be quite pretty.

"Come. I must tell you something important, but not here. I don't trust it here," Kuja said in a hushed voice. Eri followed him and wondered what he had to say that couldn't be said there. Then she thought, _Well, maybe it's something the elephant-lady can't hear about._ She got excited. What kind of secret did Kuja want to entrust her with?

* * *

**Omg, it's kinda like a cliff hanger or what not! What's he gonna tell her? Well, you might already know.**


	9. Chapter 9

**This is the last update you get til about April! Yay! Huh? Oh, why, you ask? I'm a future sailor, that's why, silly! I've gotta go to bootcamp next week. Haha...it's gonna fun...they're gonna yell at me...and probably shoot me too! What fun...**

**(D:) You see, what had happened was... there was this thing..And another thing. And then...ok yea, I don't own it. I own Eri though! That's good enough, right?**

* * *

Zidane and his crew (Vivi, Quina and Freya) had survived the attack in the city that always rained. After their defeat, they went to Cleyra to seek out the exodused Burmecians as well as their king, who Freya had heard was in the city protected by a sandstorm.

* * *

They were on the silver dragon away from Alexandria, in quiet contemplation.

"It must be a really big secret," Eri said, breaking the silence, "if you want no one to hear."

Kuja looked over at her. "It is, yet I'm not quite sure if it should even be told to you."

Eri blinked rapidly. "Why not?"

"You don't appear to be one that is trustful," he said, narrowing his eyes.

She gasped. "How can you say you don't trust me? I'm a trustful person!"

"I highly doubt it."

"But Master Kuja..." she tilted her head and pouted.

Kuja rolled his eyes. "Don't try to use your appeal on me."

_Excuse me? _she thought._ The cuteness factor doesn't work? What about my sex appeal?_

She crawled over to him and pushed him down. The silver dragon made a small grunt.

"What is it you think you are doing?" Kuja asked as Eri straddled him.

She smirked. "Using my appeal..." she leaned down on him.

Kuja was rather confused and didn't quite know what to do. This was a new situation to be in. Was it dangerous? Probably not, but any wrong movements and they could fall off his royal dragon. "I'd appreciate it if you removed yourself... from me," he could feel his face heating up, and what was that feeling... down there? This woman was pushing it, using her dirty commoner hands to stroke his perfect face. Although...her hands were quite soft. He blinked his thoughts away. What point was she trying to make by doing this? What point was_ he_ trying to make? He forgot.

"Why aren't I trustful, Master?" she whispered in his ear.

_Oh..._ he thought, _that's what it was._ "Uh..." Was he at a lost for words? No, no. Of course not! He had to get himself together. Didn't he want the Canary? Wasn't the Canary the one he wanted? "Fine," was all he said, and she got off of him. Why didn't he think of that earlier?

She looked at him intently. "So...?"

He sighed. "Ok. I planned on betraying the Elephant- lady from the beginning, and she's been under my control this whole time."

Eri's eyes widened. "For serious? Wow. You're quite the genius. You can make her do whatever you want?"

"Precisely."

"So cool."

"I...suppose."

"So what's the plan now?"

"I plan on killing her."

"Yes!"

Kuja let out a small laugh. "I see that I'm not the only one that despised her."

"That 'lady' gives me the creeps! I'll rejoice when she's gone."

"You must be patient before you can rejoice. I won't kill her yet. In time, when all things align, and this act reaches it's climax."

Eri nodded and turned her face away from him. That last sentence made her think dirty things. After what she had done to him, the word 'climax' should be the last thing he should be thinking about. But then again, Eri was very much a pervert.

She turned back and smirked at him.

* * *

**Ya know, I am very unaware of the time period of this game. To me, it's all like, medieval or something. And yea...they totally said stuff like 'for serious' and 'so cool' back then... lmao.**

**Well guys, it was nice knowing you. Goodbye forever.**

**...**

**Ok maybe not. See you in a few months! Love ya!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh wow... it's been a while, huh? Authoress so sorry. She be lazy! lol**

**(D:) If I owned FF9 then I would do something and then some stuff would happen and then that thingy and then..yea**

* * *

"Ugh, Master Kuja, must we continue? This sand is getting all in my hair, and I just washed it a few days ago."

The fair man put his hands on his hips, "Woman-"

"Eri..."

"_Woman."_

"Fine."

"Cease your complaining. Haven't you seen the sign we passed? We're nearing our destination."

"I'll never come to Cleyra again. This place sucks."

"Again with your complaining. Is there anyway you can keep your mouth shut until we've reached this place?"

The beautiful blond pouted, but didn't retaliate.

Kuja smirked.

XxX

25 minutes later...

"I am Kildea. Allow me to be your guide and show you our town."

"Well finally! Who's grand idea was it to settle in the middle of a sandstorm?!"

"Woman..." Kuja warned. He turned to the lady creature in green. "Won't be necessary," and continued up the stairs, Eri following.

"So... the people here are... rats?" she couldn't hold the question in any longer.

"It would seem so..."

"I see," she said, and let of a laugh she was holding in.

"You are rather rude."

"My apologies, Master," she said and latched on to his arm. He tried to shake her free, but to no avail.

"Oh look, an Inn! Let's go, Master, let's go," she tugged on him and eventually he gave in. Maybe the walk left him tired.

Inside their room, Kuja was relieved to see that there were 2 beds this time. He gracefully laid down, while his companion flopped on her bed and sighed. He rolled his eyes. "When this is over, we'll get you lessons on how to be more of a lady."

She rolled over to face him," I'd be insulted if I wasn't so tired. And dirty. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Before that, have you realized?"

"Um.. I will say no..."

"The General isn't here yet-"

"Oh, of course."

"and neither is her army. Taking her time as always, I suppose. We'll take this small break, and then when chaos ensues, we will be right at her side. You may participate if you want."

"Right...well, shower time," she said and made her way to the bathroom.

Kuja allowed his eyes to finally shut.

XxX

He woke to dead silence. Eri was staring out an open window. "What's happened."

"No more sandstorm... oh look, black mages."

"Let us go find the General then."

As they made it out of the Inn, they came across townspeople trying to fight off Alexandrians and black mages.

"Let's head to the top. I suspect Beatrix will be up there," Kuja said.

They climbed multiple stairs until there were no more and came across a lovely building. As they entered it, they heard a woman's scream, as well as a voice saying, "Hmph! Pathetic rodents!"

"Yup, that's her," Eri laughed as they entered the last set of double doors. They made their way over to the woman.

"You didn't have to come here," she said to them.

"We were curious," Kuja said.

"Hmph. Then come on," she said, and ran away with the jewel she had stolen.

"Huh?" Eri said, but she and Kuja followed anyway, with Zidane and company close behind.

They all stopped outside, and after some taunting, a battle had started; a rematch of sorts.

"They must be suicidal. Didn't they already have this fight? They're sure to die this time,"Eri said as they watched the battle from the sidelines.

"They have courage. I'll give them that," Kuja applauded.

"No more games," Beatrix said suddenly, "I shall leave with the jewel now." The battle ended.  
"Hm..." Eri started.

"Leave however you please," she said to the pair, "Black mages, our work here is done. Commence withdrawal immediately," the General said, and warped with a black mage.

"Ok..."

"This journey proved rather uneventful."

"Hey!" Zidane said, running to them. "Who are you two?"

"You shall find out soon enough, boy," Kuja said and whistled, summoning his dragon and grabbing Eri, who was watching as Zidane and most of his party warped with black mages just as the General did.

They got on the dragon and immediately spotted the Red Rose. They flew alongside it.

"Kuja! What are you doing here?"

"Observing..."

"Hm. Well it is time!" Brahne said and summoned a spear of blue light. "Odin, come to me!" The light crashed into the sky and all hell broke loose.

Eri's hair blew wildly in the wind as she watched the horseman ride down the sky and destroy Cleyra. "I wish I had that Eidolon..."

"As do I, Eri. As do I."

The woman smiled. So he _did_ remember her name! He just chose not to say it. "Where to now, Master Kuja?"

"Well, I feel like I should check on the Canary, then head home."

Again this damn Canary. Eri wouldn't let it show on her face, but she hated every time he mentioned her. If she had her way, there wouldn't be a Canary to go check up on in the first place. Sinister thoughts racked through her head as they changed course for Alexandria

* * *

**This chapter is so lame. I honestly just took most of it from the game. Was watching a Let's Play. lol I'll try harder next time. And then next next time we get to learn more about Eri, cause seriously, who is this hoe?!**


End file.
